What is Peer Support?

“There is a great deal of strength gained from knowing someone who has walked where you are walking, and now has a life of their own choosing.”

Meaningful, Purposeful Engagement

In its purest form, Peer Support is the common ground created by shared, lived experience, from which a trusting support relationship can be formed. But it's really much more than that - we are all actively learning, and we're very deliberate about the way we build relationships.

A framework for meaningful relationships

Purposeful Peer Support is our new framework, created by Tautoko Tāne, Male Survivors Aotearoa. It helps us to understand and engage with the different stages or ‘seasons’ of our wellbeing journey. We know that every individual’s journey is deeply personal, and we are determined to walk purposefully alongside our Whaiora as he, they, or she take their own path towards wellbeing.

Using an analogy of the four seasons, we begin by meeting a survivor in their 'winter', responding with warmth and building connection. We plan ahead through 'spring', drawing on their existing strengths and personal resources. We build those strenghts through 'summer', to carry us through hard times, and then in 'autumn' we take time to pause and reflect, ready to begin the cycle again.

We are guided by six very deliberate, or purposeful, principles (nga kura ono):

1. Kura wheako (lived experience): There's a growing body of research that suggests lived experience has benefits that can't be found through traditional services. We believe there's value in what we have learned through our life experences, and we aim to share that thoughtfully with others.
2. Kura whanaungatanga (authentic relationships): We take time to get to know each other, expect to see some things differently, and welcome conversations that promote understanding and learning for all.
3. Kura pitomata (potential for change): We believe that positive, meaningful change is possible for everyone. We focus on people's strengths and encourage their dreams. We also expect setbacks, because we know from our own experience that tough times often bring positive growth.
4. Kura ako (collaborative learning): We learn from each other, and grow our self-awareness through mutual, meaningful interaction.
5. Kura taurite (equity and inclusion): We understand how power imbalances can affect people, particularly survivors of sexual harm. We welcome and value diverse experiences and views, consider our own prejudices, and work to overcome them.
6. Kura mana motuhake (self-determination): Self-determination is a human right, grounded in freedom and equality. Without this collective right, people in minority groups cannot be in control of their own lives. We encourage people to make their own choices and find their own path in life, because everyone benefits if we are all free to grow. Feedback is welcomed, as it leads to personal growth.

We actively work on own relationship skills, particularly these five:

1. Taki Whaiaro (practicing self-awareness): We practice noticing and naming our own thoughts, feelings and reactions, so we can stay better connected with ourselves and others.
2. Te rāhiri kanorau (appreciating difference and diversity): We take the time to understand our own beliefs and views, and where they come from, so we can actively accept that others' perspectives are equally valid to our own.
3. Te whakarongo mā te aroha (reflective listening): We practice listening for the deeper meaning under surface information that people share, while recognising what's important to them and reflecting it back to check our own thinking.
4. Pakiki tonu (remaining curious): We take the time to check our assumptions, and respond with genuine interest and curiosity.
5. Te kimi māramatanga (working with trauma): We understand the impact trauma can have, and how it impacts our relationships. We recognise common trauma responses like fight, flight, freeze or fawn, both in ourselves and in others. The impacts of colonisation are understood to be a trauma, and are considered with a trauma-informed approach.

Ngā kura ono, six principles of change.